Karma
by BakuuBunb
Summary: Nobody expects dying to be fun, but filled with ninjas, jutsu, and a lack of hot cheetos? Not what she hoped for. -In which a rather average girl dies, is reborn in the Naruto verse and tries her best to be a good person (her best isn't great)-


"Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forget life, to be at peace." - Oscar Wilde, The Canterville Ghost

Dying wasn't like what she expected. Of course, to be fair, she wasn't one to spend numerous hours pondering the intricacies of life or death and so she wasn't _expecting_ anything specific. But still, the supposed peace or righteous anger was lacking, and in its place stood a deep confusion. To be blunt, death bamboozled her.

The way she died was ludicrous. As someone whose life consisted of a continuous stream of variations of the same day, it should follow that her death would be something similarly common or mundane, a car crash, slipping in a shower, or old age would suffice. Hell, even a straight up murder would be better than the ridiculous end she faced.

Instead, fate seemed to decide that turning her life into a cosmic joke would be the best way to even out her karma. So naturally, instead of dying of cancer or a stroke, she was killed in a freak explosion at a McDonald's. Yes. _Explosion._ Yes. _McDonald's_. She could not only feel the universe laughing at her but the future laughter of thousands as her death inevitably became a meme. She didn't even get a taste of the McChicken she ordered, and if that wasn't a giant 'fuck you' from the man upstairs she didn't know what was.

She hadn't accomplished much with her life. At the end of her short twenty years, what had she done with it? Rewatched way too much reality TV, racked up way too many hours on various FPS games, napped a lot, studied things she didn't even want to know, and ultimately spent her entire life the way a normally functioning person would spend a particularly lazy weekend. She not only never accomplished her dreams but had never even taken the time to figure out her aspirations or goals.

So yes, there was some regret there-albeit much less than there probably should be and admittedly about some of the wrong things (she knew she should've finished the season finale of project runway before giving into her munchies) but she was dying. She would never exist in the same present tense again, she would never again be able to see her parents or overfeed her cat Panda. This was the end. This was the end and her last moments had been spent contemplating if she should smother a McChicken in ketchup or go more al natural and eat it plain-why were her last thoughts so pointless? Of freaking course she was going to drown it in ketchup. She could have been reflecting on life or pondering why 42 was the answer to the universe.

The puzzlement of death continued with her monologue because wasn't there supposed to be more? The weirdly warm comforting blackness surrounding her wasn't exactly the halo, fluffy clouds and pat on the back from God himself. No, it was decidedly less exciting than that.

_Ugh, would something just happen already? _She groaned internally. The amount of time that had been spent sitting in darkness was grating on her nerves. As a lazy individual she could say she was pretty patient, so it must of been a while since her actual death for her to feel this antsy and bored.

In answer to her thoughts; something starting happening. The nice peaceful darkness started to constrict around her and convulse. It felt exactly like what sh imagined being swallowed by a snake would feel like. Slimily, suffocating and disgusting. She should've known better than to put such a vague command out into the universe, because asking for something to happen was like putting ketchup on watermelon, it just shouldn't be done. It was just a step down from, "This couldn't get worse".

Apparently her afterlife didn't entail being eaten by a snake if the sudden blinding light and manhandling was anything to go by. At first she thought a giant or something was holding her as a scream pierced the air. It took a long moment for her to realize that the scream belonged to her and the hands holding her were not giant, she was just a very small compact human (a baby, she was a _baby_).

She wasn't atheist, she just avoided thinking about difficult things, but she could admit that although she thought that there was some kind of afterlife this wasn't what she pictured. Because she wasn't dumb, if she died and was now a baby that only meant one thing- reincarnation was apparently very much a thing. She didn't know much about reincarnation or the religions that believed in it, but she did know that reincarnation had a lot to do with karma. Good karma points come from good deeds. Bad karma points come from bad deeds. She wasn't a rocket scientist but, doing some real quick math on her life left her feeling pretty leery about what her circumstances in this new life would be like. Yikes, why hadn't she helped more little old ladies cross the street?

"Haha! I told you it'd be a girl! You owe me ¥1000," a loud masculine voice boomed; effectively jarring her from her post-life crisis. The voice continued in a coo, "Yes, your Papa's always right, best not to trust Mommy too much, yeah?"

"Oi! Shut your mouth! I've been in labor for hours and this is how you talk to me? Give me my little baby girl before you fill her head with nonsense" a grumpy feminine voice bickered back before muttering, "...and you can pry that ¥1000 from my cold dead hands."

She was passed to her new mother like a hot potato. The language flowing over her ears wasn't anything she had ever learned to speak but she could still somehow understand it, which was something to think on at a later date while she wasn't going through shock.

"Welcome to the world, Himari. That old man over there is an idiot so you'll learn in time to filter out what he says," Her mother smiled down at her as she said this; well she-Himari now she supposed-thought she smiled, everything was strangely blurry, Himari remembered hearing somewhere that babies developed their eyesight as they aged so figured it would be a while before she could actually see. Which sucked to say the least, small, helpless, and basically blind? Not how she wanted to be spending her death that's for sure.

"What?! I thought we decided on Yumi or Hana if it was a girl? And I'm not an idiot!"

"Nope, I changed my mind, and your consistent losses at Rock Paper Scissors are a pretty good indicator of intelligence or lack thereof."

"When?"

"What do you mean when? Think of any time we've played."

"Not that Doofus, when did you change your mind about the names?"

"Just now. She's definitely a Himari."

"But I thought Yumi was cute…"

"You wanna fight? Because I will drag my post labor butt out of this hospital bed to kick your ass if needed. Don't think I won't."

"...Ugh whatever, if she hates her name later it's your fault...but Himari is a pretty cute name"

Was this her life now? Because she didn't think her attempt at being a decent person in her previous life was that bad (okay maybe it was). At least, she now had an entirely new perspective and understanding on why babies cried during their every waking moment.

Growing up again wasn't as strange as she thought it would be. Himari couldn't say she passed as an average child, knowing that any other parents would've freaked out at the speed at which she learned to speak and walk. Fortunately, in this life her parents seemed like they had no idea what they were doing with their life about 88% of the time and didn't have any idea of how to take care of a baby or anything about babies, sometimes she couldn't help but wonder if she didn't have the conscious of a twenty year old if her parents would have accidentally killed her.

Her father, Takao Tanaka, was at most in his early twenties, though she wouldn't be surprised if he was still in his late teens, he had dark brown hair which seemed to perpetually be in a state of disarray (she had watched him try to smooth the unruly bedhead for an hour before with no advale). His face was constantly split into a sharp grin that flashed between teasing and threatening. Her mother, Misaki, was a headstrong brunet who perpetually looked like she was privy to an inside joke. She was about the same age as Tanaka.

Hisami was fairly sure her parents weren't legally married and didn't know anything about their pasts or how they met.

Her parents also constantly fought, their affectionate nicknames for each other were insults ranging from "idiot" to "overpriced 2% milk". They competed over everything, using games as a way to one up each other. Despite their personality clashes and their drama, her parents had a very distinct "Us against the world" mentality. They didn't trust anybody besides each other.

Misaki and Takoa weren't exactly _good_ people.

Hisami in her previous life had been raised with the principles of helping those in need and integrity. In this life, Hisami has watched her parents go after people who owed them money with rusty pipes and hidden knives. Her parents stole in passing the same way a child unconsciously runs their hands against a wall or picks leaves off of a bush as they walk past it. She was also fairly certain that neither Misaki or Takoa had ever paid taxes.

But the three of them made a little family. They lived in the poorer district of Konoha in the back of a tiny rundown convenience store her parents ran (which they scammed any customer unwilling to call them out on the high prices or low quality produce). It was home.

Hisami was happy, this life was different than her previous one and she wasn't the same person in any stretch of the word, but it was an opportunity.

Especially because Hisami now knew how the universe worked. She was certain that she would be reincarnated based off of her decisions in this life, meaning that she could easily game the system and grind out some karma points for a hella cushy next life. Which meant that she had to make some goals for this life. She needed something BIG to make sure that her next life would be in her favor. Nothing really presented itself though, her parents were not very supportive of donating money to the homeless or community service. The people around her were also pretty sketch and she knew better than to help any old folks with groceries, a good deed wouldn't matter much if it killed her after all. Which left her with the troubling problem of knowing she needed to do some good acts but also being concerned about how to go about doing it.

This problem came to head as she watched an old man with a beer gut the size of a large cat cuss out a small blond kid for knocking over a display of hats by mistake.

The kid looked about her age, meaning he had to be around six. He looked resigned and upset, muttering apologies with hunched shoulders. Indignation bumbled inside her gut before spilling over. Resulting in her marching up to the man, looking him dead in the eye and shoving over a shelf of expensive looking glass figurines (she had bad instincts okay). There was a tense moment of shock and disbelief from both the kid and the shopkeeper.

"Oops!" She sang, "You should really have a sign or something :)".

"You little brats!" The shopkeeper growled before grabbing a broom and raising it as if to strike them. He was too slow though as Himari darted forward, snatched the blond kid's hand and took off toward the back alley.

"Don't worry!" She shouted back toward her companion with a reckless grin. "We'll lose that fat asshole in a block or two!"

The kid looked shell shocked but offered her a hesitant smile after a moment. They continued to weave through streets and dart past pedestrians. Eventually, they stopped behind an old bakery. Both sliding down the wall to sit and catch their breath.

"Hah! Serves that loser right" She crowed, "I'm Himari by the way!".

"I'm Naruto...believe it," came the mumbled reply.

"Uhmm okay, I believe you."

A/N heyo this is my first fanfic! Hopefully you enjoyed the first chapter, any feedback would be awesome! :)


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